A few weeks ago was one year since my Aunt passed away And really others have passed away in recent years. I use to be able to count on my hands how many people I knew who died. Now I don’t believe that I can. This comes from getting older (I know I’m not old but when I get older it means those I love get older too) working on the mission field and other things.
Death has always been something that I was scared of. I remember being a little girl and running to my mom when my brother would say something like “you’re going to die”. I also remember many days of tears that followed after a dog of mine would pass away. I had three dogs die during my childhood. I can’t say that I’m no longer scared to die. If I’m honest I still am. But I’m not scared of death. I know what happens and where my loved ones go.
This change did not come quickly or easily. I had to loose some people close to me to learn it.
The last time in Africa most of you know that I lost a sister and friend. This was such a surprise and for those of us who lived with Sarah devastating. I was away from the team at the time. (Actually for most of my loved ones deaths I have been away.) Being apart from it made me trust God and lean on him so much harder. I didn’t have to be the strong one I was able to get and be mad. But it also gave me the time to learn and realize what death is. God and I had many conversations on the plane rides back to Port Elizabeth (that’s where I was living I was on holiday in Swaziland at the time). I still remember him saying to me “Trust me”. Which honestly was hard to do at the time. He kept reminding me that His plan was so much better and that He knew what He was doing. At the time it was hard to believe. Sarah was just 18. But in the weeks and months and even year that followed The Lord was good on his word. So many have been brought to Him through this. Because of one death hundreds have heard His words. She is still ministering and being used even in her death. And who knows maybe in greater ways than if she were alive today. I miss her so much but I am sure that she is where she is suppose to be. Up in heaven praising God and working right there beside him.
When I got home from Africa my Aunt Diane was sick with cancer and after a summer of fighting hard the Lord brought her home. The day He did seemed like a relief then reality set in. No longer would she be there to talk to or to cut my hair. She really was gone. But just like with Sarah I had to trust and believe that the Lord knew what He was doing. She was a beautiful lady who loved with all she had. Now
she gets to do that from the perfect place. She gets to hurt no more, she is HEALED.
If you have lost someone close to you and wonder how you can go on without them. Talk to God He is right there wanting to help you through this. Know that one day, God willing, we will all be with Him in heaven.
Beca you are such an awesome blessing!! I am so thrilled and awed with what God is revealing to you! I have so loved watching you grow and mature into a lovely young woman of God!! Thank you for this update!! It really spoke to my heart and ministered comfort and peace to me! I give God THANKS for bringing you into my life.
I love you and pray that your comming year is filled with Gods PERFECT grace and plans.
Love ya,
Mrs V…or as Katie calls me “Renee”